Although they are ever present I don't need the blue dots any longer to find Angeline, I know how to find her in my sleep. She haunts my dreams, is my last thought before sleep and the first thought before awake fully claims me. But today, when I think of Angeline I am quietly jubilant. I am trying to maintain reason, afraid to be overly optimistic, but I want to laugh out loud and sing (really, really off key) because today I believe that Angeline is going to live.
On our evening visit the little pixie girl was tired after what I'm told was a big day of being much friskier and more perky than she's been since she arrived. She was laying down but all too happy to be fawned over and to have her beautiful little head stroked. Her eyes were so much brighter than they have been. She was very attentive and taking in everything.
When her eyes closed and she slept I sat and stared at her beautiful face. Angeline's little nose with the pink spot right at the base, the slightly turned up nose, the three little freckled dots on the right side. The tan on her head surrounding one eye completely and wrapping ever so gently around the other, slightly more on top like eyeshadow, slightly less on the bottom like eyeliner. Her features so delicate. She is mesmerizing, captivating.
The Good Things are that she has continued to have a good day, continued to eat, continued to maintain her blood pressure and continued to be more active. Tomorrow morning we have big decisions to make about her care but if she continues to do well she'll be home from the ICU in a few days. Soon there will be no more blue dots between Safe Hands and Angeline.
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